Signed, Sealed, Delivered!

OK. Over the past few years I have somehow started to collect an informal list of 'things I want to do' in my head. These things just seem to pop into my head every now and then. Most people would call it a "Bucket List" but I hate the sound of that. It just sounds morbid to me. But I also can't seem to come up with my own hip term to replace it, so for now, its just my 'things to do list'.

I think it started the day I decided to write a letter to one of my favorite and uber inspiring singers, Josh Ritter. This guy will make you smile on the inside and out just by seeing him in concert. I took a chance and wrote him a letter. Not a crazed-I-love-you-Josh-Ritter fan letter. I just felt compelled to let him know how inspiring he is, and his music. And OK, how much I love it!

Well, who freakin' knew that one day I'd be pulling a postcard out of my mailbox from Josh?! Dream #1 come true.

I think this was the fuel that started my fire and I have since been coming up with other dreams I want to make come true. Not intentionally, they just come. And trust me, they're not Oprah Winfrey worthy, but they are my dreams just the same. That's what makes it so great.

Another dream I've had relates to the show Extreme Makeover-Home Edition with Tai Pennington. I LOVE that show! I can't watch it without crying, being inspired, and feeling fired up to help others. And in fact, sometimes I can't watch the show because I get MAD that I'm not involved in it somehow! That's how much I want to be a part of the show and how much it means to me.

I decided way back that I was going to send in a DVD (video) of me asking to be a participant on the show to help a family and meet the design team. I kept putting it off for more than a year. Then in January I finally grabbed a ball and made the video, put some photos together, and filled out the application. It all sat in a box on the dining room table for months. Until today. I mailed it! I know the chances of me getting a call to be on the show are SLIM but...I am so glad I put myself out there and did what I could to try and make it happen. I've seen that this year they have guests on the show but they're celebrities, so maybe I waited too long...I sure ain't no celebrity! But like I say, I will hold out the hope that just like Josh, Tai Pennington will contact me. Imagine?!

The only other 'thing to do' on my list at this point in time is (and yes, its totally cheesy) to visit the firehall from the TV show Emergency! in California and the museum that houses the old fire engine and squad car used on the show. And wouldn't you know it? THIS July, the museum is asking all Emergency! fans to write in about why they (aka ME) are the biggest fan. There's an event going on, no details yet, but you KNOW where I'LL be in July people! And here's hoping I get to meet Johnny and Roy...Randolph Mantooth and Kevin Tighe, and maybe even some of the other cast.

Follow your dreams people, whatever they may be. A dream is a dream is a dream and all are worthy of reaching for. Just think about the stories you'll have to tell. You never know unless you try.

Brrr!

We are having a long, cold winter here and today was another blustery day. -36 degrees with windchill and the average daily high is -18 for the rest of the week. White out conditions driving and icy, icy roads. I took my mom to an appointment this afternoon and by the time we got back to her neighborhood, it was dinner time. We ate and had a glass of wine together as we felt we had earned it. What a great night. Love you mom.

Words to consider

Hope you enjoy. Jeff Bezos, creator of Amazon.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/jeff_bezos_gifts_vs_choices.html

Happy New Year

A friend of mine tells me that according to the Gemini horoscope...2011 is our breakout year. Apparently, the Geminis of the world have been opressed by the planet Saturn for the past 10 years. But now, says she...the cloud has lifted and we will rise again! I can't argue with that if its going in the right direction for my astrological sign. I say, "Hallelujah"!

I do feel like I'm on the edge of change and feel I'm at a place where I can (mostly) see and appreciate what I've learned, the lesson...I'm just not quite in the driver's seat yet though. I'm still in the training simulator awaiting that almighty 'sign' that will put me in the driver's seat and lead me in the next direction. I do feel closer though. So that's good right?

The new year has been pretty status quo so far...not quite feeling that breakout excitement per the horoscope predictions. But, its early.

Any intentions for the year? Primarily a continued focus on compassion. Others have popped into my mind that I plan to focus on as well, but obviously I need to start writing them down! I can't remember them right now.

I wish much love, peace, happiness, laughter, joy, and health to all of my fellow peeps out there. May 2011 be YOUR year as well (even if you're not a Gemini). Cheers!

Breaking in the season...

I have to say that there aren't many, if any, really memorable work-related Christmas parties that I been to over the years. But this year I had 2 work-related functions to go to in one weekend and both were a lot of FUN! Lots of great, really sociable people to talk with, delicious food and desserts, wine, and dancing. Oh, and watching the CEO's wife get so smashed that she was fighting to stay conscious while sitting at the table...head bobbing around, hair wild, makeup smeared, hilarious really. We've all been there but man am I glad those days are long behind me!

Secret Santa is in full swing at work this week with a final potluck on Thursday, how very 'Rehab'...always a potluck. This year I volunteered to bring a 'main' dish (they're always the least picked on the sign-up list) and I'm already regretting it and stressing what to make. Something in the slow cooker, that's a given.

Time to go watch a movie called 'Hangover' that everyone keeps telling me is hilarious. Meatballs for dinner and maybe some popcorn. Not a raw night, that's for sure!

Feels like...

I have the weight of the world on my shoulders these days. I've been 'asking' for my heart to be open to hear, feel, know, receive the answer I need to kick start my life forward again. I love a website called 'The Daily Love' and it gets sent to my inbox every morning...a few quotes and some advice...relating to a theme for that day.

Today, a lot of it stuck with me. I liked this part of one quote:

"Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present." Rabindranath Tagore

The whole page of quotes and info really stuck with me today to be honest. This next little bit of advice resonated with me:

"If the story of your life hasn't turned out the way you wish it would have, please remember that it isn't over yet!

You can choose a different ending to your story right now. All it takes is one choice...one choice to let go of anyone and anything that doesn't serve your joy. One choice to LEAP into the UNKNOWN...one chance to finally stand up and proclaim to yourself and the world that you are NOT going to die wondering "WHAT IF I NEVER pursued my DREAMS?"

And although I already know this deep in my core, I do think my heart isn't ready to take that LEAP, in whatever direction that might be. And that is *#!!*&! frustrating! I used to be AMAZING at knowing what I wanted and went for it. Stuck? That wasn't in my vocabulary...until now. I feel frozen. I am confused about what I REALLY want and I fear making a decision that will cause regret.

I have been impulsive more than sensible most of my life, when it comes to decision making. And although I haven't had true regret, I have often wished I hadn't been so impulsive and picked the 'smarter' path. But I was also naive. And I look back now wondering if maybe all of those decisions led me here...many hopes and dreams not met yet that I thought would have been...to look back and wonder if I should scrap all that and chart a completely new course...or continue on the one I'm on with the hope and belief that it CAN be incredible?

When did I let life get so hard and confusing? All I can do is to stay 'open' and try and heed the signs, feeling, intuition, courage, etc that I can so that one day, my heart will know what to do and I can keep on chugging forward.

A little flair please...

I was reviewing my older blog posts and I think I was a little more savvy then, versus now. I need to pick it up a little! I was laughing while re-reading about the merman, impressed at my diligence to pursue dreams (no matter how big or scary or quirky), and just reminisce.

Its chilly in here tonight and I need to get to bed but remind me to tell you about my surgical consult a while back. Trust me, not every girl's dream! Of course, the end result will be fabulous (hello boob!). I'll tell you about it later though. Need...to...warm...up...and...sleep. Goodnight.