Thanks to my sista

A big shout out to sista G for doing a sweat in my honor this weekend. May it bring the sun.

Sunny Days

Well, sista G pointed out that I'm the last one on her blog list and that I should get blogging! It has been a while. Reason being, I have a few major things on the go that I'm keeping hush hush until they evolve a little more. Its not that I'm trying to keep them sacred, its just not time to put it out there yet.

Today is a beautiful, warm and sunny day. Finally! I have been soaking up the warmth and fresh air. I heard its supposed to be 0 degrees again on Thursday with more snow...let's hope that's just a rumor!

I was at the thrift store again today and I found an old tin foil/wax paper/saran wrap dispenser. It took me a while to convince myself to buy it because I try not to use those products anymore, in honor of Mother Earth. But...being a sucker for the reminder of grandma Thurston (she would have had something like this in her house, from that era) I snapped it up. Maybe I'll find a new use for it.

Feeling good these days...still a bit tired but radiation will be done end of next week. Time flies. 5 weeks of radiation 5 days a week seemed like forever looking back. But it isn't.

I'm off to Vancouver next weekend for level 2 of my living foods program. After this course, I can teach people level one. But I'm really doing it for me. I've been dying to buy a dehydrater and make these awesome raw veggie flax or sesame crackers...but I'm waiting until after the course. We'll be learning more about them and so I have to tame my Gemini impulsivity and wait! Well, I don't have to but I am.

Laundry's done, better go get at it.

Short and Sweet

Still here, just nothing to write about...I think its mainly because I feel tired every day...awake enough to function through the day but tired enough to not have the energy or flair for email or to write on my blog page. I'm slowly coming out of the fog, but the key word is slowly. Lots going on actually, maybe I'll get to putting it down on my blog this week. Thought I better get something on here again in the meantime.

Catching up

Its been a while since I've blogged. I've been pretty tired these past few weeks and haven't been in writing mode. But my energy is slowly picking up! Time to catch up on the days past.

I finally finished ONE of my moccasins after two 4-5 hour classes and weeeeeeks of beading in between! I have a whole new appreciation for anything beaded or handmade using hide and sinew. My fingers were bleeding today. Seriously, I have blood on my moccasins as proof. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. Battle scars! I'm pretty impressed with myself to be perfectly honest! It feels good to put so much heart, effort, time, and soul into making something. I have one more moccasin to finish, they take so much time. You'd never know it by looking at the finished product, but trust me on that, they take tiiiiime. I love that I learned a new craft but I'm not sure if I'll remember all the details over time. I hope I do.

Chatted with the Metis/Cree instructor and have been invited to a 'Cultural Camp' somewhere north and not sure when...lots of Cree Elders will be there and I suspect a lot of teaching about our culture...both Cree and Metis. Sister Gigi will need to come with me for that. The instructor, Brenda, also works with Native medicines. This was passed down to her through her grandmother. She's offered to work with me and asked if I wanted to be one of her case studies. That's a definate yes. I'm excited to get to know her better and take in some traditional Native healing. I am really excited that all of this came about. She said it would also be good for me to do a sweat, which is in the plans this summer...at Red Willow with my sista 'Red Wolf Woman'.

Not much else to report really...its been all about the moccasins these past few weeks. I start radiation tomorrow. I went for a mick tril last week and is it ever quick and painless! Nothing compared to chemo! Three cheers to that! It'll be a pain going EVERY day for the next 5 weeks but its worth it. Looks like I'm going back to work around April 6th as well...my oncologist was trying to talk me out of it but I'm eager to make some decent money again and to get back in the real world.

Time for bed and to rest my weary fingers!

Making moccasins

I can't wait to finish them! Signed up for this workshop and so glad I did. Little things like this make me feel like I'm connecting to my history but at the same time it also feels so far away. I have a lot of beading to do before the second half of the workshop and I hope I remember how to do it outside of class. The instructor is also Metis and has close ties to her Cree and Iroqouis heritage...she lives the Native way and learned from her Native ancestors since she was young. I liked learning from someone who is traditional and passionate about passing on this info so its not lost, like making moccasins. She told me that the Metis were known as the "Flower Bead Makers"...we learned the traditional Native way of beading and the flowers came from the Gray Nuns. Apparently, they used to crochet flowers and our people began to incorporate them into their beadwork. I love beads and beadwork, and hides, especially the smell of smoke from being tanned...I am so glad to finally be learning this. Classes like this are rare in the area. I feel like I lucked out. I can't wait to teach others or make mocassins for them.

Channeling Kokopelli and the Merman

I finally made it to Banff today. It was a beautiful day and warm! The roads were good, I was relieved. I grabbed my usual decaf soy latte with a shot of vanilla from Beamers and hit the road. A short but pretty drive. First stop was the Banff Indian Trading Post across the river. I always love this place even if it is half authentic Native goods and half souvenirs. Everyone comes to see the "merman" at the back of the store, I laugh everytime I see it, especially because of the tufts of white hair all over its head. Two young boys came to see it...I heard them come rushing to the back of the store. It was hilarious watching them and listening..."Is it alive"? Too funny. I think this is where my parents bought us our moccasins when we were young...mine were white with beads and lined with white rabbit fur...I wore those endlessly. I always remember those. (I can't wait for part one of my mocassin making class tomorrow).

I liked reading about the history of this Trading Post...the animals and animal heads have been there since the 1900s. There used to be Banff Indian Days when the Stoneys would come and dance, race, do archery and have a parade. Those days are gone. Too bad, wouldn't that be incredible to see now? And then.

Anyway. I unexpectedly found a gift for my nephew Henry, and a gift from the past for my brother...I'll tell you what that is once he has it in case he reads the blog. I think he'll laugh when he sees it and appreciate it at the same time. I soaked it all in and then went to main street. My three goals were to buy a drum, look at the Native flutes and get a Lululemon hoodie (I don't have one if you can believe that). I also saw a TV ad about a second hand store in one of the malls that I wanted to find.

I didn't find the second hand store but I did buy a black Lulu hoodie. Then I made my way to Sleeping Buffalo, another Native store. Well, right away I saw the flutes and asked about them The young guy/store clerk was so keen and helpful from the get go. He knew all about these flutes and has one himself. We laughed that we both used to play the clarinet...what are the odds that a guy played the clarinet? We bonded. I was glad to have someone so easy to talk with about the flutes. I wasn't intimidated. I asked him to play them for me...since he knew how and my lips are chapped and embarassingly cracked and raw. Of course this is the time I decide to check out flutes, key focus being the mouth! Aaaagh! I get myself into these situations all the time. The store provides straws to stick in the flute so you can play them...but I was too embarassed and self conscious. Plus, I have no idea how to play and it was good to hear the sound being played on its own, by someone else. I could focus on the sound and how it made me feel.

The sound was incredible. Relaxing. Again, like hearing the drum, I melted. I much preferred the sound from the cedar flute versus the walnut. It was deeper, calmer and went right to my core. And later, wouldn't you know that I found out that cedar is one of the original woods used by the Native Americans? Hmmm. Interesting. So much for the drum. I was sold on the flute and it felt right to be buying this. I did look at the drums, this is what I came for, but I soon realized that the drum is still too 'big' for me, I am not ready. I'm more comfortable hearing it played by others. And I knew I would play the flute right away and often.

My flute is quite plain and I love it. I'm hoping a name for it comes to me. Right now I just call it 'Cedar'. It came with a book and CD...very homemade looking book and CD which I love. When I got home, I read the intro to the book and the man who wrote it said,

"My experience is that it is a very magical instrument, in that it seems to appear when one needs it most."

Well, that's how it worked out for me today. He's right.

I finally played it, just notes, randomly. I love it. LOOOVE it. It sounds pretty just playing it without any idea of what I'm doing. And although I'll try and learn 'proper' notes and songs, the auther of this book and flute maker reminds us that the Indians did not have written music. Just music passed down from Elders and ancestors, or from sounds in nature.

That's the story of my flute!

Brrrrrr

Its snowing hard out there and windy. Just looking out the window makes me sneeze! White out conditions at the moment...looks like my trip to Banff is on hold for at least a day. Oh well. It wouldn't be much fun walking along main street in this weather. And I'm a pansy when it comes to winter driving. I would love to hit the hot springs though! Gotta wait a few more weeks for that...the ol' immune system needs to catch up before I go soak myself in a public pool of water! But oh how I have been craving to go there all season. Poor Kiva is whining to go outside, this is her kind of weather. Such a snow dog. Sorry girl, mom's a wimp today. Thankfully Jacqueline the biathlete/dog walker will be coming by to take Kiva to the dog park. She's a hardier stock than me, a true mountain woman type and used to being outside in this wintery stuff! 3 cheers for Jacqueline. By the way, this photo was taken today at around 2:00 p.m. Yep, its cold and gray out there!