In so many ways I feel like I'm fire! On fire with PASSION, on fire with ACTION, on fire with LIFE. It feels like it's MY time to SHINE. Why? I have no freakin' idea. It's just something stirring within. I've had so many thoughts and ideas and dreams for so long but could never get to the starting line. I don't know what or who lit my fire, but I'm finally FEELING it. Feeling ready and able to make things happen. And it feels GOOOOOOOOD. It's AWESOME. I've found the energy or the 'oomph' to be DOING what needs to be done. Actually, I think it found me. Fist bump! Booyah!
My first and easiest and most favorite project (that HAS begun!) is making the garage into a meditation/yoga room. Or, at the very least, a retreat to go to any time and chill. So great right?! I know! I can't wait to finish it and get in there.
So many good things are happening, so many good people in my life and keep coming...just little things that feel big. And I LOVE it! Because I just feel good.
This is also the time of year that I have my annual cancer checks. Which translates into what feels like a million appointments and tests within a short period of time (2-3 weeks). A packed schedule. It's exhausting both mentally and physically no matter how strong you are...making appointments, remembering appointments, getting to appointments, getting to work, prepping for tests, trying not to think too much about it...and then (gulp)...bracing for results. Putting on that brave, smiling face and forcing yourself to walk into the doctor's office on results day, head high, shoulders back, ready to face whatever comes at you. Fake it 'til you make it. Fortune favors the brave. I feel so fortunate and grateful for the information these appointments and tests reveal to me about my health, the 'knowing'. At the same time, I can't help but feel scared. Yep. Scared. Which is normal. And it's OK, I've been here before, year after year, I can totally do this. Just like many others before me. But it sucks. And this go around, I have a few added concerns that have popped up. So...it just feels a little heavier than usual. Sorry peeps, that's the rain cloud in this story.
But here's the bright side, the sunny side, the ain't-life-funny side (because that's how I roll)...I'm still happy, I'm OK, and I try my darndest not to let the scary bits get the best of me. They do sometimes and that's OK too. This is my life and I'm going to party like it's 1999. I have learned to be strong in the broken places. And just like Tim McGraw's song about living like you're dying...this time every year, the sun seems a whole lot brighter, the singing of birds a whole lot sweeter...smelling and drinking in each savory moment of every day to my very core.
Always feels good to catch up on here and blab. Gonna go love up the dogs with rubs and kisses, eat, check Facebook, and sleep. Tomorow is Friday people! Weekend! (thanks for popping by).
