For a long time now, I have been feeling too busy and overwhelmed...feeling like I'm wasting my time on the stuff that doesn't matter. I'm constantly trying to manage working full-time and a recent job promotion (aka I'm even more busy!), kids, cooking, cleaning, sports, homework, appointments, grocery shopping, laundry...my life is WAY too busy. And I feel like I'm not really living. I day dream and admire people with less money and part time jobs who have time. Free time for self care. Maybe that means sleeping more, taking naps, doing a hobby, exercising, whatever it is; I want it.
I struggle with the decision that in order to have more free time, I either need to drop hours and drop my income or figure out how to work less and make more. And right now, I havent figured out the latter. I struggle because I need to support myself and kids and I've become accustomed to the freedom that money brings in many ways. At the same time, it saps my free time because I work hard for it.
I dream of moving into a yurt in the middle of nowhere, sleeping, meditating, eating well, reading books on self improvement, and exercising. Unfortunately, that's not an option right now. I also dream of buying a campground with cabins and running it. That is on my goal list.
But for right now, these are not options I am willing to pursue out of fear and a sense of commitment and safety. So I'm taking baby steps but steps no less!
I was in a second hand shop this afternoon and found myself in the book area. Self help section! I ended up buying about 6 books, I couldn't grab them fast enough. And right then and there, I decided that I am going to start my quest to simplify and figure out how to be happy living a simpler life and just go for it. Not worrying about my career and trying to be bigger and better and change the world. I'm not saying that isn't a worthy and very comfortable place for some people to be...but I'm feeling like I'm missing the point by doing so. By giving away all of my time to work and to projects and kids and duties rather than being happy with a simpler job and pace of life.
I have no time for self care, or to do the things I love like sleeping, writing letters, doing crafts, exercising, reading, road trips, travel, being in nature, or just relaxing. I never have time. And that's not good and it's not healthy. And I've been going stir crazy trying to tame my gut which is screaming, "slow your roll. DO something!"
So I'm doing something. Funnily enough, one of the books I found is called, 'The Gift of a Year"...I'm starting with that one.
Follow me as I embark on my quest. I have no idea what to call it yet. But it's time to be brave and start letting go of the security of my current life and create a life with more time and meaning. I love what Steve Harvey says, "You have to give up what you know and what you're doing in order to break through the glass ceiling and get to the next level." Like how he let go of everything he knew (stand up comedy) to become a motivational speaker. Or how Oprah had to give up her show to create her network and other endeavors. And Steve Harvey is the first to remind me that it's not going to be easy but it has to be done and you will get there. I will get there.
Life is short and moments matter.
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