Gran Torino

I love this guy. He's my neighbor across the street and reminds of Clint Eastwood's character in the movie Gran Torino. This man sits on his chair outside on his front stoop all day and evening, EVERY day. I think he smokes but doesn't drink beer. We haven't met yet, I get the feel from him that he doesn't want to chit chat so I've never approached him but I will one day. I wave and he waves, that's as far as we've gotten. I have to say that its kind of nice to know there's someone 'on watch' for the neighborhood every day. I know that if something goes down, this guy will know. I truly love seeing him out there every day and it brings a smile to my face. My personal Gran Torino guy.

Home sweet home

Hello Calgary! It was great to be home. Everything was so green, fresh and alive. It was nice to see my hometown with new eyes. It really is a great city. I felt so comfortable being home...safe, familiar. I wish I had more time there this trip but it was hard enough to leave as it was. I managed to see all my family which was the best part, even if the visits were short.

Going home...

has never felt so good. I leave Thursday morning and I am so excited. Its going to be a whirlwind from the time I step off the plane and get back on but I am reeeeally looking forward to being 'home'. The trip is full of appointments and a few quick visits with family. Will I be able to leave? I'm enjoying my time in NM more and more...adjusting and really loving my house and backyard, the feel of it. Even if it isn't ABQ or Santa Fe. Ate some chocolate chip mint ice cream tonight...3 days in a row actually. Why did I have to discver the Baskin and Robbins here in town? That's all I have to say...scattered, I know. A true Gemini.

Square peg in a round hole

Yep, that's what I'm feeling like in the big picture of life right now. I'd like to report otherwise but I'd be BS-ing ya. Don't get me wrong...loooooads go good shite like nice people, sunshine, friends, family and the land of enchantment (New Mexico) filling up my life (and the 1/2 tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream I ate for dinner). BUT...I'm on a second adolescence or something...it can't be a mid life crisis can it? What am I talking about you wonder? I'm still struggling with the feeling that I don't know who I am, what I should be doing, etc. Its like I'm following dreams but changed along the way and now the dreams don't exactly jive. WTF? Does this mean I'm going to end up quitting my job and moving into a shack on a beach somewhere, beating on drums and making hemp necklaces? Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Anyway, not to worry, I'm OK. Just trying to unscramble the mystery and hopefully find my way back to the well beaten path I used to walk on, or something remotely familiar.

MUCH better, I'm feeling much better now that I'm in this new house...what a difference. Its been a busy weekend moving, but thankfully, when you previously downsized to live in a small cave, it was the easiest move to date. Small silver lining. Very small. I can't say everything is 100% rosy again but I can say my spirits have shifted up a notch, good start. Tired from the unpacking and there is still more to do...work already again tomorrow...really? I would love to not work...I keep imagining how great it would be if I could just hang out and decorate the house, paint, work in the yard...and somehow have money coming in at the same time. There are ways to have that, yes...but that's not how I roll. Kiva seems happier as well. This place is bright and bigger and open and the yard is great for romping. Although, miss Kiva jumped to the top of the 6 foot concrete fence today and seriously debated jumping into the neighbour's yard to meet their barky pitbull. I don't know if it was my frantic and panicked pounding on the window and shouting that brought her back or Kiva's personal decision. I am just glad she didn't jump over. New house rules, Kiva is only allowed in the yard with her person present. What a day. Time to kick my feet up and early to bed. I so wish there was a long weekend coming up. If I was in Canada, I wouldn't be wishing! Oh, I just have to add...for whatever reason I'm back here in the four corners and not in Albuquerque or Santa Fe, I AM learning that its not the 'where' as much as the 'who'...I am starting to 'get' that concept. Mind you, maybe if I was in ABQ or Santa Fe, things would be different. I guess I just go with the flow for now and see what my gut tells me to do next. I think its telling me to go to Dairy Queen...mmhmm, it IS!