Feels like...

I have the weight of the world on my shoulders these days. I've been 'asking' for my heart to be open to hear, feel, know, receive the answer I need to kick start my life forward again. I love a website called 'The Daily Love' and it gets sent to my inbox every morning...a few quotes and some advice...relating to a theme for that day.

Today, a lot of it stuck with me. I liked this part of one quote:

"Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present." Rabindranath Tagore

The whole page of quotes and info really stuck with me today to be honest. This next little bit of advice resonated with me:

"If the story of your life hasn't turned out the way you wish it would have, please remember that it isn't over yet!

You can choose a different ending to your story right now. All it takes is one choice...one choice to let go of anyone and anything that doesn't serve your joy. One choice to LEAP into the UNKNOWN...one chance to finally stand up and proclaim to yourself and the world that you are NOT going to die wondering "WHAT IF I NEVER pursued my DREAMS?"

And although I already know this deep in my core, I do think my heart isn't ready to take that LEAP, in whatever direction that might be. And that is *#!!*&! frustrating! I used to be AMAZING at knowing what I wanted and went for it. Stuck? That wasn't in my vocabulary...until now. I feel frozen. I am confused about what I REALLY want and I fear making a decision that will cause regret.

I have been impulsive more than sensible most of my life, when it comes to decision making. And although I haven't had true regret, I have often wished I hadn't been so impulsive and picked the 'smarter' path. But I was also naive. And I look back now wondering if maybe all of those decisions led me here...many hopes and dreams not met yet that I thought would have been...to look back and wonder if I should scrap all that and chart a completely new course...or continue on the one I'm on with the hope and belief that it CAN be incredible?

When did I let life get so hard and confusing? All I can do is to stay 'open' and try and heed the signs, feeling, intuition, courage, etc that I can so that one day, my heart will know what to do and I can keep on chugging forward.