Do I smell freedom???

As my friend would say, "hell to the YES"! It's day 2 off from work and man does it feel GOOD. I love being an SLP and I love working in acute care with critically ill adults. LOVE IT. But...what I don't like is working for Alberta Health Services (AHS). It's a sinking ship my friends. Actually, its already sunk.

Patients, whether they know it or not, are not getting the care they could be getting and the care that they deserve. At least not when it comes to communication and swallow therapy. And they don't often know the kind of care they could be getting because they've never seen it before. And yet, our friends to the south of us, are getting kick ass care. Even Edmontonians are getting better care from what my colleagues tell me. Why can't we pull it together Calgary? Ugh. I just shake my head.

Having this time to step back and step away is already liberating. I feel like I can BREATH again! I feel like the sky is a little brighter, things are starting to look a little shinier, and my insides feel that long lost sense of hope, excitement, and freedom to be me again. This is SO worth it.

At what price do I sacrifice my sanity, my values, and my standards JUST to take the only job out there? I am beginning to realize there is so much more to life and I've been living under this cloud believing this was my only option. And I see so many people at work who can so easily live with status quo, live in the dark ages far from cutting edge, and be OK with it. Really? I just can't. There is SO much MORE to life and living. Like that quote..."a person may live 100 years and not live one day of it"...or something like that. Drones.

I have no idea what I'm doing on this LOA. I have no plan. Is that scary or what? Admittedly, I feel completely lost but for the first time in a really long time, I'm going to let go of every expectation and spend some time doing whatever I love and listening to my gut. Try to tap into it again and figure out who I am and what I need to do. Not a bad start right?