Narcissism

I am just learning that I know 2 people who fit this profile like the DSM-IV was written about them! I've known their behaviors were frustrating, annoying, and suspected this was not your average person, and I'm not the only one...I just never dove in enough to find the label or the name for it. Well I did this week and it's called narcissism! I always thought that was such a 'Hollywood' kind of term and not really 'legit'. But when I read definitions and descriptions about it, wow! Does it ever fit! It is SO real! But, and here comes the but, as I search more for info about how to 'deal' with people like this, sadly, the outlook is dim. Not surprising when the key traits of narcissism are all about 'me me me'...these people don't realize or think they have a problem. And they get rage-y and uber defensive if confronted or questioned or challenged, even if done so in the gentlest of ways. Oh, and I know THAT from previous experience! Yikes. Their lack of empathy or consideration for others, and I mean authentically, not the put-on-a-good-show kind, made me furious in the past and lose respect. But...now that I am armed with info, I understand that it's a disorder and one that they will likely not get help for, so coping becomes key. Stroke the ego and frame things in a way that will make them feel like the superior being that they believe they are. All the time knowing yourself that this is just a way to manage your interaction with them in order to survive. I can do that. I've already learned by trial and error over the years to just be quiet and listen (not like they'd stop to ask about you anyway), limit your interactions, keep your expectations LOW, and most importantly, to not share anything personal or meaningful with them. It's a shame but it also comes down to survival. And I'm a survivor. Otherwise, you'll go crazy trying to form an actual TWO-WAY relationship with them, it won't happen unless it works for them. And as you can see, that defeats the purpose. Opportunistic. Anyway, I feel a weight lifted off of me just learning about this and having some coping skills in my interpersonal tool box. Relief! If you're interested, do a google search using the key word 'narcissism'...at the very least it's interesting stuff!