Aaachoo!

Well, I AM still happy about the fact that I caught a cold. BUT, the thrill is definately over. I thought it was as bad as it was going to get for the first few days...a short lived sore throat and a bit sniffly but otherwise felt okay. Until last night. It hit hard. I'm currently living on green tea, kleenex, Halls, and minimal sleep. Rented a cheesy movie from Red Box this afternoon ("Old Dogs") and plan to lay in bed watching it and try and sleep afterward. I love Red Box by the way! Movies for $1.00...get outta town. Also got some red chile stew to make for dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow...that should be the hearty kick my cold needs to start turning around. Poor Kiva is bored and sleeping on the floor beside me...what a trooper.

Sore throat

And happy about it! I know it sounds strange, but this is my 2nd sore throat/cold-ish kind of thing in a year and I am celebrating. I haven't had a cold or illness for YEARS and I mean 5-6 years. Nothing...no colds, no flu, nothing. I always felt that something wasn't right about that. Was my immune system on overdrive, working when it didn't have to and preventing any illness? So, I feel like my body is rebalancing and well on the way to normal again. I could be nutty but...this is just my thought and i'm happy about having a sore throat.

Beautiful Day

It's the weekend! And...its sunny, the birds are chirping, life is good. I feel great! Even knowing that I have a ton of reports to write and will be working from home this weekend.

I'm feeling MUCH better after the crappy night I had the night before...the reason for my previous blog entry about 'late nights'? Well, after putting two and two together, the lightbulb went on. 2 Cokes and a good portion of a bag of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies (chocolate in the middle) at about 9:00 p.m. turned out to be the cause of a very restless and uncomfortable night. All that caffeine caused insomnia, a RACING heart, and heart palpitations that lasted into the morning. I would have called in sick but can't afford to right now. But it went away by mid morning.

I know better. I have the Fortney heart that gets all crazy when it comes to caffeine, alcohol, stress...but I am lousy at resisting temptation. I am sure appreciating how great I feel today though! Slept like a baby last night, even slept in a little. And woke up to this beautiful day.

Off to get a coffee and tackle reports.

Late nights

I've somehow gotten into the habit of staying up until midnight or even later. My alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m. so I can't afford to be a night owl! It's currently 12:17 a.m. as I type this. I have my green tea with lemon and honey (makes it taste like neocitron...mmmmmmm) hoping it lulls me to sleep. My nightly routine includes that, and my "heat sack" which I nuke for 3 minutes and put into my bed, and of course...I then hunker down into the blankets and watch an episode of Emergency! on my computer (thanks NBC). I have a crush on Johnny Gage. But my nightime ritual is getting later and later. Guess its stress and excitement. Trying to get all of my work done so I can leave knowing its all ship shape for the next SLP who comes. I'm way behind as it is because me and paperwork do not get along. I think about everything I have to do, including packing, planning, and everything else to do once I get home. Its good stress though. And amazingly, despite the lack of sleep and not so favorable weather conditions, I'm making it out the door for my run/walk dealy-o. Day 3 tomorrow and the end of week 1, yay Tracey! Well, guess I'll go start the rest of my routine and get to bed. Next week...earlier to bed.

Life is a mystery

I am totally relating to that song this morning. Just waiting to go for a haircut...a 'real' haircut. I've been getting by with Supercuts (I know, you're laughing or gasping) but now my hair is at that breaking point and needs to start finding a style. Its time to bring in the pros!

Its my day off and its a lovely spring day outside. I know this because I had to track down my dog Kiva, who escaped from the backyard this morning. Luckily, she doesn't go far and I always know where to find her. She thinks its riot when I DO find her and we race home on the sidewalk. Guess that's a good thing too, she comes home.

So, the title of the blog...its exactly how I'm feeling. How the heck do people know what the 'right' decision is for them in life? In all matters of life. Is it a total crap shoot? Do we follow our heart or our head? What are the rules? Someone tell me please. I feel like I've been through a MAJOR life transition with cancer, and always living with that now...it has sort of become a guide for me...a reminder to do what you love and live life to its fullest. I guess I used to know what that meant for me and now, I don't. I'm on the brink of making major choices as well...marriage, adoption, where I live...do I do all these things or do I stay put where I am and blaze a new trail? I think this is what a midlife crisis feels like. How come everyone else seems to know what they want and make the right decisions, I never trust mine.

Life IS a mystery. Am I totally on my own with thinking and feeling thsi way? ADVICE PLEASE. I would love to hear as many responses as I can.

Thanks for listening.