Weekend in Durango

It was FANTASTIC. There's nothing like seeing old friends and spending a weekend with them in their beautiful mountain town. (I used to not like Durango very much but have come to LOVE it and could see myself living there one day). Love their new house way out on county roads where you go to sleep in total silence and wake up surrounded by forest and deer (and their 3 dogs and 3 cats). The laughter all weekend was much needed, leave it roasting smores under millions of stars to get the laughs going (oh, and Glen from Oklahoma cracking jokes with his Jeff Foxworthy accent, a small grease fire on the BBQ...). I am also so appreciative of my birthday massage and lunch at Cypress, yum! Thank you "Keely". The weather was gorgeous and it was cool to see the Iron Horse event going on. It sounds impossible but was kind of intriguing to me...I might have to look into it...but I think its too tough for me! It was inspiring at the very least. And I got to go into my favorite store and bought some pottery (6 thumb mugs) from Mark Jaramillo. I love his stuff and it just has a good vibe and is affordable. Oh, and another great part of the weekend was going to Navajo Lake and taking a test drive on the motor boat that Kelly, Griz, and Chris bought. It was wet, bumpy, and windy but we had a great time. I am loving all the friend time, and activities I am getting to do while out this way...much needed and its a reminder that I am happy and can enjoy life. Can't say that's how I felt when I was back home. Next stop...Vegas.

Upcoming Events

I'm spending my 40th birthday in Las Vegas and I'm really starting to look forward to it now.

My friend sent out an invite to my family and friends asking them to join us but...due to my procrastination, by the time I got the guest list to my friend, it was kind of short notice that most people already have plans that they can't get out of. I was kind of disheartened to be honest, you secretly hope that everyone will want to give up their plans for YOU. I mean, I survived cancer, I might not have been here, come on people! How is that for unrealistic expectations?! Ha ha. I get it, but a girl can still dream and be delusional right?

It DOES make me realize that I want to continue to be a person who does do that for people though...show up and be there to mark important milestones and events. After cancer, I realize the importance of 'being there' even more. This is a good reminder to keep that as an important goal for myself.

So, the celebration will be intimate (which is actually more my style anyway). We've been trying to come up with fun 'things to do'...so far dinner at a sexy restaurant and shopping are on the A-list. But today I discovered this totally FUN thing to do in Vegas and we are SO going to do it! There's a show at one of the hotels and you can be IN it. They dress you up in Brazilian Carnivale costumes and put you in the show. How fun is THAT?! I don't think there's a better way to enter my 40's than that! I get the sense that we might be high in the air though and I'm not so great with heights (actually, I'm terrified!). But, I'm going balls out and doing it anyway.

So that's the Vegas planning in a nutshell.

I'm going to start Zumba classes again here this week too. I'm finding that as I am getting back into running (run/walk) and cycling short distances, that its not really burning the calories yet. I need something harder to kick my butt a few days a week and burn calories (and those freakin' addictive pretzel m&ms I keep eating!). Got to get my skinny on. I'm looking at taking classes at a place called "Salsa Baby" but I fear that I might be in a class with a bunch of good dancers. I have a call in to the studio to make sure that its for all levels. And, get this, they have hip hop classes. I 'm working up the nerve to try a beginner class. I really want to try it but its WAY outside of my comfort zone so I'll be digging deep to get myself there. I WILL get there though, even if its for one class and I never go back, ha ha.

Well my lovelies, that's all for tonight. Live long and prosper. (Where did that come from?! I'm not a trekky).

End of the world...

Life Is Good

It really is. These past few months (which have gone by so fast!) have been just what I've needed. I'm still 'under construction' or more like under re-construction, but I feel a whole lot better about life, and myself aleady. I am so fortunate to have this time away for myself, to be surrounded by a place I love and friends, and people who are helping to guide my path, especially the honest ones. Those who tell me what I may not always want to hear but tell me like they see it so I can make insightful choices. Not quite Simon Cowell but just as honest. I SO appreciate it. I need that view of things to see what's really happening, to see what others see, the real picture. And from there, I forge my own path using that knowledge and mine.

I feel like I'm starting to gain ME back and the STRENGTH to put my dreams forward instead of behind someone else's. Still scary though, let's be honest, I don't have the balls quite yet! I'm not coming from anything horrible, just a life where my dreams didn't all come true and at the edge of turning 40...its a little disheartening and an awakening to say the least. Why was I so naive that I didn't know or realize that I should have pushed to make things happen sooner? Marriage, kids, etc. It has always been my dream. WTF? At the same time, I have so many blessings and riches in my life and have been lucky in that, and I'm grateful.

I realize that life is messy and I need to stop focusing on what is 'right' and have faith to step onto a path that feels right and trust that my dreams will come true. Even at 40. I still don't have the nerve to choose the same path and make it different or to choose a brand new path...but I'm definately getting closer. And that's miles further from where I was.

I want to thank Laura who has been popping by to read my blog posts. I appreciate your support and read your website when you direct me to it. THANK YOU. Such a nice surprise.

On to less heavy chit chat...its the weekend and I plan to relax, shop for a 40th birthday dress, and choose the restaurant in Las Vegas to celebrate 40 (that's Las Vegas, Nevada by the way and not Las Vegas, New Mexico...did you know there's a Las Vegas, NM? Also a Miami, NM). Anyway, I'm trying to find a not-overly-pricey restaurant, but still swanky where I'll feel like its a real big deal. And I have a funny story to tell you about work at the long term care center but I'll save it for later...have to get my day started.

Happy weekend everyone!

Mayo ("My-oh")

May in Albuquerque is windy. Temperatures aren't quite in the 'hot' range yet but its still warm and sunny, good for the spirit. I'm getting anxious to get some color on my skin though. Low key weekend planned...get a new and larger backpack (so I can store more stuff when I ride my bike), I'm thinking I'll check out REI. Tonight I head to my first Central NM Ghosthunters meeting at the IHOP (only in NM right?), and then a nice walk with a friend tomorrow afternoon and maybe perch ourselves on a patio for happy hour. I've been doing some easy cycling and even started walk/running. I find I am coming out of my shell here and living again.

My mind has been filling and filling with business ideas...there is something inside me waiting to come out and create but I just haven't quite found the 'aha' moment or business plan. A million thoughts and ideas but how do I nail it down to the perfect thing? Not quite there yet but its emerging. There is this ball of creation inside of me wanting to explode out. I have something inside of me that I need to do but I don't know what it is yet. I dream of creating a job I am proud of, love, and makes me enough money so I can at least buy a little shack or house in New Mexico or Hawaii...somewhere to retreat to with warmth and relaxation. A job that I create.

I am loving reconnecting with my friends here in NM, such a great group of girls and makes me feel very normal. All of our lives are crazy and not what we expected to be coming on 40 years old. I think I could cope with the trials of life with these women within reach every day. Plus the NM sunshine and vibe. Its been good to get a dose of friendship and NM. Needed that very much thank you! I'm rambling...too many thoughts flowing today that I'm not sure I want to share or at the very least, this will continue on as a big ramble.

Fueled by a green smoothie and Rio Grande coffee...its now time to shower and head over to REI and then perhaps sit in the lovely ABQ sunshine.