Monumental Day

Yay! My last chemo treatment is this afternoon and then I feel like I'll be over the rainbow where the clouds are far behind me and my troubles have melted away like lemon drops. I can't say I'm looking forward to chemo today (not at all!!!!) but, big picture...it's a good day.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

Random highlights & thoughts of the week

Joaquin Phoenix. If you saw the Letterman clip, you know what I'm talking about. Sad to see what Hollywood can do to someone. This guy needs some intervention and fast. Breaks my heart to see him this way. And we all know what happened to his brother River. Let's hope someone steps in and gets Joaquin the help he needs. Its easy to laugh but we should be lending a hand.

The 60 year-old woman who gave birth to twins via IVF. SO sick of this story inundating the news. Darwin stated that, "the urge to procreate is stronger than the urge to survive". And he's right. Unless you've walked in this lady's shoes, I don't think any of us have the right to judge. How about celebrating and supporting this family instead of judging so harshly?

Me & my friend chemo. Last round is on Thursday! Got postponed from Tuesday, my 'counts' were too low. Had more blood tests today and hoping we're good for Thursday. I just want this done and I'm sick of blood tests every 3 weeks. Especially when I only have one useable arm and the lab staff have to 'dig' for veins at this point! Need I say more? Gross.

Spaghetti and meatballs. Tonight's the night!

Books. I've decided to limit TV and read more. I have 3 books on the go and a pile waiting...typical Gemini. Everything ranging from raw foods to Reiki to novels. I'm loving the book by the Dalai Lama. My goal is no TV when I move to New Mexico. I still get a twinge in my gut when I say that...I'm a sucker for the Bonnie Hunt Show and American Idol...it'll be tough.

Recycled clothing. I am feeling so good about myself every time I get dressed in the morning! Most everything is second hand...it makes me feel like I'm making a difference.

Josh Ritter. Still on a high about the postcard he sent me!

Other big news. We'll wait and see. Stay tuned.

Spaghetti and meatballs

I really don't have anything specific to say but thought I shoud add another blog entry. Went out for Valentine's dinner last night...favorite Italian restaurant...called ahead to make sure we could have the spaghetti and meatballs (my favorite at this place) even though they had a set menu for the big night. We were assured this would be no problem but it was. When we got to the restaurant and tried to order the spaghetti and meatballs we were told it was impossible. And the menu choices were pretty limited for me...3 fish dishes (hate fish), one mushroom and veal dish (mushrooms give me a rash) and peppercorn steak (I'm avoiding meat, especially red meat). I sucked it up and ate the steak, which admittedly was very good but I felt cheated. So, looks like a repeat visit to this restaurant this week for the spaghetti and meatballs. I have to satisfy my craving or I'll never stop obsessing about it! They are that good! In all honesty, in my 37 years I have never tried spaghetti and meatballs, ever, until a month ago with my mom, at this same restaurant. I think I saw an ad on TV with spaghetti and meatballs during my 'post chemo protein craving phase' and I was determined to have them! Now I'm hooked. I can't believe my whole blog entry is about this! Other than my current food addiction...looks like chemo is postponed until Thursday instead of Tuesday (my counts are too low) but I'm not complaining! Even though its my last treatment, I'm happy to have a few more days of feeling good before another hit. And of course, waiting on the other big thing going on in my life which I won't mention now...only if it works...stay tuned for that. Life is an emotional roller coaster again, for the time being. I tend to minimalize how much is going on in my life and don't recognize the impact it has on me until others point it out, which they have and I'm thankful they do. It makes me stop and take five instead of bulldozing through it all. But I'm holding my own and somehow get by. Good things this year, good things for 2009, I still fully believe that is true for me.

World Sound Healing Day

Tomorrow is "world sound healing day". I've really connected to sound and its effects on me. I participated in a sound wellness workshop last weekend...loved it and learned a lot. This really resonates with me and goes deep into my core. I'm joining in a group toning tomorrow morning from 9:00-12:00 and I cannot wait. I find this so therapeutic and freeing. Lettng my voice out. Many people all over the world will be toning in honor of this day...started by Jonathon Goldman in Colorado. He's one of the sound wellness pioneers. I plan to buy a Native flute in Banff and a drum sometime down the road. The woman who taught the sound wellness workshop had both, among other instruments like crystal and Tibetan singing bowls...I would never have thought to get a Native flute until I saw and heard hers...wow. And I love the sound of the drum. Perhaps this is part of my ancestry showing itself? I wish I lived closer to my sista "Gigi" so we could experience a lot of these together at the same time...I carry her with me.

Dreams do come true!

It pays to follow your heart and not hold back. Today I got a postcard from Josh Ritter in the mail. JOSH RITTER!!!! I wondered, "who do I know in Alaska?"...I looked at the signature and couldn't quite make it out. Then I read the postcard and BAM! It hit me! Josh Ritter! I couldn't believe my eyes. I have been on a giddy high all afternoon because of this. Since this whole cancer shmancer thing, I vowed to myself that I would not hold back and I would follow my heart, do things I only once thought about and go after my dreams...big and small. I think Josh would relate, he lives life with such passion. I wrote to Josh a few months back. I decided that rather than just think how great he is and his music is, I should tell him. Often enough, no matter who we are, we don't always hear the great things that people think about us. We hold these thoughts inside instead of sharing them and making people feel good. So, that spurred me to pick up the mighty pen and tell THE Mr. Josh Ritter what an inspiration and joy he is. I had completely forgotten about this until today. I never expected a response. Amazing. AMAZING. I am on top of the world. And what a great guy...he spent money to buy and send a postcard to a fan, and took the time out of his busy schedule to write. Thanks Josh!!!!

Santa Fe prison riot of 1980

Ok, kinda weird timing. I was on 'youtube' tonight and started searching for my favorite New Mexico band (Cuarenta y Cinco). This led me to search about my favorite church in Chimayo, and then about the 1980 prison riot in Santa Fe. It happened on February 2nd and 3rd...today is February 4th. Hmmm. Did my subconscious tune in? Having worked in a prison facility in Albuquerque, I was very familiar with the stories about this riot and actually, without disclosing too much info, worked with a young family member of one of the key rioters...yikes. I developed an interest and fascination with this event. I actually toured this exact prsion years later, on Friday the 13th of all nights! It was a 'ghost tour'...the prison is now empty and often used for movies...one of the guards who gave the tour was actually there during the riot. I would have liked to talk to him more but at the same time, I didn't want to make him re-live those memories. What he saw must be burned in his mind forever. Anyway, if you're up for some sad and horrifying New Mexcio history...check out this website:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Mexico_State_Penitentiary_Riot

Thinking of the road ahead

I just got the info about my radiation schedule...I start in late March and my last treatment will be April 29th. My LAST treatment. Done. Life begins again. I can smell New Mexico! I can't describe how good it felt to get that call and start talking and thinking about radiation, it will be a breeeeeze compared to chemo. And, it felt incredible to have an end date to all this. No more cancer. No more treatment. I am free. The road ahead is wide open and I am ready to burn some rubber.

Gong show...

That pretty much sums up my day today. It started at the bank...the banker was extremely nice but confused, scattered and kept repeating the same thing to me over and over. I appreciated his thoughtfulness, he only wanted to be thorough, but ugh. It got to be a little much. He was wearing his name badge upside down and I thought to myself, "that says it all", ha ha. Then I had to go register my car. I got pulled over the other day because apparently I was driving without registration...since SEPTEMBER! What?! How did that happen? Anyway, the police officer was nice enough to let me go with a warning. But he made sure to tell me I avoided a $230.00 ticket. Phew! Thank you Constable whoever you are! However, when I got to the registry, I had to pay for a few outstanding tickets as well as my registration, so I basically screwed myself anyway! I then spent the afternoon hunting down fabric and blanket binding for the carft I'm making...which is on the 'down low' until its done and sent! No sneak peeks here. It was actually exhausting trying to pick and choose the 'right' stuff but I came out a winner and I think its going to look great when its done. I'm exhausted and plan to get to bed early tonight.

Daytime TV

I'm hooked on the Bonnie Hunt Show. She reminds me of my friend Marci in New Mexico...good natured, good hearted and funny. Plus her accent kills me...Bonnie is apparently from Chicago but sounds more like Wisconsin or North Dakota. Old fashioned values and lots of laughs. For some reason her set makes me think of Palm Springs. I would love to be a guest on a talk show.