Project Porchlight

These light blulbs were dropped off in the
mailbox months ago...a certain un-named 'someone' kept putting off replacing the existing non-efficient light bulbs with these new ones because they "might be too low and hit the door". I decided to take charge today and actually check it out, finally. The new bulbs don't hit the door AND...the light bulb socket thingy can be moved if they had hit the door. Ugh. Sometimes we are so lazy, but I'm glad I made the change today! Here's to Project Porchlight and one more step for doing good for the environment!

Blue boxes and my morning shake

Well, the recycling boxes have been on the 'curb' since 8:00 a.m. as instructed. They look lonely out there waiting for pick-up but it's a relief to know it won't be me dragging my piles of stored up recycling over weeks to the city depots anymore. I actually liked my trips to the depot though, and I always felt good about myself after I had sorted it all into the respectful bins...cardboard, glass, paper. But, the city depots don't recycle near as many things and me not driving to the depots cuts down on my carbon footprint, so this is the better choice for many reasons.
TRACEY'S RAW GREEN SHAKE RECIPE:This is my morning ritual (the photo isn't of a green shake...can't stomach the greens immediately post chemo, but it looks pretty similar)...not so scary right? SO good! And good for you. Trust me.

In a blender, add:

-handful of organic frozen rasperries (fresh is too expensive right now but do it when you can)
-handful of organic frozen strawberries (about 6)
-handful of organic frozen blueberries OR blackberries
-handful of organic kale OR spinach OR romaine lettuce
-3/4 C organic pineapple juice, peach juice, whatever juice you like really...my fav is pineapple
-1/2 C filtered water

Blend and enjoy! You can save any leftover shake in the fridge but it's best to drink it right away to get the most nutrients. Usually makes enough for 2 people. These are low glycemic index fruits as well so they won't whack out your blood sugar levels first thing in the a.m.

And if you use kale, it's delicious but blend it longer, it's a hardy plant and needs a bit more time to break down in the blender so you're not eating chunks of it in your shake...I learned that the hard way,

I did it

Round 5 of chemo...done. Wow, only one more to go. I was a nervous wreck this morning. I drank a Coke and ate popcorn before bed last night while I watched the SAG Awards (Screen Actors Guild)...I was desperate to catch up on Hollywood. Anyway, the caffeine and sugar kept me awake for 90% of the night!!!! I KNEW this would happen and yet, I have very little ability to resist temptation. So, with little sleep I went to the cancer clinic feeling wiped out and vulnerable. But the nurses are incredible. I was tempted to rip the IV out of my arm and bolt several times but...I managed to keep it together and get it done. I've taken my meds and now plan to settle into my usual place in the bed or on the couch for the next week...oh the joys of recovery. I was thinking today though, that I'm glad I had chemo over the winter months...I can wear a toque and not have to worry about fancier hats or wigs too often, I can hibernate and not really miss too much weather related stuff (ok, there is skiing)...and I'll be done my treatments right before spring. I can renew myself in the spring, like every other living thing! Everything will be coming alive, including me.

A day in the life of...

A Gemini. I tell ya, one thing we're known for is 'variety'. No theme to this post, just my ramblings about anything and everything. I'm a Gemini through and through. I can keep it together and toe the line with the best of them, but sometimes the Gemini in me reigns and I find myself thinking or doing a million things. So...last night I watched an interview with the Dixie Chicks about the years during and after their statement that they were embarassed that President Bush was from Texas. Love their song 'I'm not ready to make nice' but another one hit home for me last night...they sang the 'long road home'...I put it on my blog playlist. Have a listen, it's very 'Tracey' for the most part.

I didn't make it to the ski hill (Sunshine) thanks to suddenly feeling overwhlemed by so many doctor appts. at the end of last week that I crashed and couldn't commit to a weekend trip right before chemo. I need down time each weekend before another round. But how I would have loved to be up on the hill! I could have stopped chemo if I wanted to by the way, I did ask on Friday...but, "studies have been done on 6 trials" and not less so I sucked it up and said I'll continue. I'm not an idiot, I know it would be stupid to quit. But I really hoped I'd hear something different so I could quit. My coworker Kevin related my chemo to running by reminding me that it's the middle kilometres that are the hardest. I'm through that and now...2 more rounds to go and I'm at the finish line. Yes, so true. Another friend said, "you've come all this way, why stop now?". Well, I can tell you a million reasons why to stop right now, ha ha, but she's right. Tomorrow I'm off to round 5. Ugh.

I did do a little retail therapy this afternoon at the mall. I went against my I'll-only-buy-recycled-clothing rule just this once. And I blame Stacy and whatever his name is from the TV show 'What Not To Wear'. I watched that last night too and they happened to have a woman with my same body type on as their 'victim'. I was brain washed into thinking I needed to dress nicer to feel nicer, and with all these new rules for shopping that seemed to fit my body type, how could I resist shopping? And especially before a chemo treatment? Really, it was inevitible. I did manage to buy a few things including a dress, yes a dress, which I can't wait to wear! I'm 50% tomboy and 50% girly girl when it comes to my wardrobe. The show inspired me to channel the girly girl! Now I just need a great pair of shoes...

Signed up for community recycling which will start on Wednesday. I've been taking all my recycling to the depot myself but decided this would be easier and keep me from stock piling the recycling for weeks! I bought 2 blue boxes for a mere $2.49 each and they're ready to make their debut on the curb on Wednesday. This idea only took me over a year to act upon, I'm a little slow.

Also on my mind is another blog about a woman who lives on a 40 acre farm with her family in Amish country. They were just invited to an Amish family's house for lunch and she chronicles her experiences living with these people. Which sounds incredible to me! The sense of community, people working together...how rare is that in today's day? Why is it that people always seem to be livng my dream? I always talk about wanting to live with the Amish! I'm not kidding. And here someone IS doing just that! I need to sit down with my dreams and passions and sort myself out so I'm actually living them. New Mexico however, is one that will happen. So that's a start I guess. Breaking new ground...I'm ready to do everything my heart desires...NM is the starting line.

Might head up to the mountains in a week and hang out there until round 6. My buddy Mike has been skiing up at the Nordic Centre and we've been meaning to to catch up over a coffee at Beamer's. And that's about all I have to say...a mouthful!

Time for bed, I think I'm procrastinating...my treatment is in the morning instead of the afternoon this time. Oh well, guess that means I get it over with sooner. I'm already feeling sick in anticipation. The power of the mind.

Gazpacho recipe...raw and delicious!

This is the best raw food recipe I have come across yet! Try and use organic and all raw fruits and veggies to get the best health benefits and avoid those nasty pesticides!

Loosely chop and blend the following ingredients in a blender until smooth:

1/2 C water
2 tbs. olive oil
5 large ripe tomatoes (I used only 3)
2 cloves garlic
3-5 dates, pitted...or you can use raisins
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 tsp. sea salt (optional)
1 bunch fresh basil (I didn't use fresh but it was organic)

Now you have the Gazpacho liquid.

Cut the following veggies into 1/4 inch cubes:

1 large avocado
1 medium bell pepper
5 stick celery
1 small onion (optional)...I used 2 big, fat green onions

Mix all ingredients in a medium to large bowl and dig in. I garnished the soup with broccoli sprouts...SO good, I promise! Makes about 4-5 servings.

Much about nothing

I don't have a specific topic in mind for today's blog but thought I'd stick something on here. I'm drinking rooibos tea with rice milk, I guess it's a homemade 'rooibos rice milk latte'. Not bad, but not what I was craving either. I didn't get around to buying those Olympic glasses...and after reading my sista's blog about the recession we're in, I might put those on hold. Seems frivolous to purchase glasses that I don't really need right now. But I'm sticking with the idea that when I have to buy something new, it will support a cause if possible.

Had a consult with the radiologist this afternoon. Nice, older British guy. Looks like 5 weeks of radiation are in my future, the month of April. I have to get a CT scan before that. I had to laugh because the doc spent a great deal of time explaining to me that the CT scan is NOT enclosed or claustrophobic, how it's open and the machine won't touch me...he probably saw on my chart how I've been putting off an MRI. I'm thinking that's why I'm now scheduled for CT vs. MRI...and thank you for that! I hate MRIs.

Off to the mountains tomorrow. Excited to be on a ski hill again, even though skiing isn't an option for me right now due to my 'condition'...it'll be fun to reminisce and enjoy the great white outdoors. It's been ages, I used to ski all the time. I'm sure I'll feel envious of all the skiiers on the hill but I'm just thankful for a little getaway before round 5 of chemo on Monday.

Time to go try and nap before heading out to dinner with my dad, sister and brother-in-law.

Brainstorm

So tonight I'm watching TV and see a commercial for Petro Canada and Olympic drinking glasses. They cost $3.99 per glass and the money supports Canadian athletes. This got me thinking. Since I'm buying most stuff 'recycled' (like clothing)...and I have a phobia about buying some things second hand (like pillows, sheets, etc.)...I've decided that when I have to buy something new, I'll try and make sure it supports a cause. I think I might go buy 6 Olympic glasses tomorrow to take with me to my new home in New Mexico. I'll just stash them with the other stuff I'm panning to take in the meantime. It'll be my first attempt at following through on this new idea of mine. And since I can't be athletic right now, why not support those who can!

Obama Inaugeration

Big day in both US history and world history today...I just watched the inaugeration of the 44th President of the United States of America and I'm completely impressed and inspired by Obama and his administration! LOVE. That was the key focus. Uniting nations, peace, working together. Incredible. His words and the words of the poet and Rev. Lowery, both inspiring and light. It's a brand new day people, not only for the US but for the world. It's a brand new day.

Welcome Henry!

I'm officially an auntie again. Henry Paul came into the world at the crack of dawn and looks like a real cutie. Just talked with my brother and everybody is doing well. Can't wait to meet the little guy.

Good Company

I went for coffee with my great friend and coworker Bonnie this afternoon. We walked over to Weed's and caught each other up in about 3 1/2 hours over lattes and bagels. Lots of good gossip, stories and laughter. LOTS of laughter. I have missed her and it was so, so great to get out and have some girl time.

Update

I think I've nailed it. I love my blog!

I love Josh Ritter

I LOVE him. There, I said it. So what?! I really do have a crazy obsession with that guy. I would love to meet him and just hang out for a day. Mind you, given that opportunity I would probably chicken out...well, freak out for sure.

Second Hand

Went shopping today at Value Village, I love second hand shopping but you need to be in the mood...and today I was. Dropped the dog off at 'daycare' and then realized I was close to a 'VV'. Found a few 'scores' which are now in the wash. I had committed to start buying only organic or recycled clothing last year and I'm living up to that goal in 2009. Organic clothing is pretty pricey so I'm thinking I'll be spending a lot of time at second hand stores instead. I'm planning to go through my entire closet tonight or tomorrow and get rid of everything I don't wear...down size. And, also in preparation of packing light for New Mexico.

Planning

I can't seem to get my road trip to NM off my mind and the big move. It's what I have been waiting for all these years, to go 'home'. I can't quite start packing yet...even I'm not that impulsive, ha ha. But my mind has been planning and dreaming all morning as I clean house...what route will I take? What will I bring? What cool and funky place will I find to live in? Dreaming of the open spaces, sunny skies, the smells, the food, the culture. My heart and soul ache for it. The photo I posted is the little 'casita' I lived in...in Santa Fe. I've also been planning a little mountain getaway in Banff perhaps...a nice hotel, a room with a fireplace, the hot springs...I'm needing some 'me' time again, some solitude and pampering. Maybe a little shopping on Main Street...so far 2009 is all about planning! As I re-read this before posting...I find my passion for the road eerily similar to that of my bio dad.

I'm alive!!!!

I was driving to Planet Organic today in this wild winter weather, and I felt good. I mean GOOOOOD. I turned up the radio and sang my heart out, celebrating how good and alive I feel!!!! Tonight we watched a movie that really resonated with me, "Things To Do". I am so ready to live my life over, start a soap box race in my neighborhood, do all the whacky things that come to mind and live life, have fun, and enjoy every moment. I feel like I could shout it from the rooftops. I feel lucky to have this new and maybe manic appreciation for life. We've all had those moments where suddenly and for no reason, we feel extreme bliss and happiness right? You just feel incredible, everything is alright, its the best you could feel. That's how I feel right now. I'm sure its just my body celebrating the goodness of recovering from chemo (finally a week later)...but this is also my new outlook on life.

Venturing outside

Holy blizzard! This snow is crazy, non-stop but I like it. I just wish I could enjoy it more, still not feeling 100% but I AM going to venture to Planet Organic today for groceries. Today I decided I had the energy to get back to my 'to do' list...things I want to do but keep putting off. This includes going to a toning circle which only happens once a month but I love it and find it so therapeutic...I went once but I'm hooked and need to get back into it. It was one of few things that when I did it, I KNEW it was for me. Transforming. I've marked off all the dates on my calendar to help remind me. That and a few medical seminars, one guy coming from California to talk about the fact that you aren't your genes, good news, change is possible and we can reverse disease! MY goal for sure. Another on vitamin D...I'm on a new life path physically, emotionally and spiritually and really just 'green' at the moment but trying to dive in and create my new world and the new me. I'll really fit in living in NM now, I'm one of those whacky, out-there people now! Off to the store I go.

Back on the right road

Well, the pizza was over rated, surprise surprise. And I did stay up all night on the couch with indigestion. Lesson learned. This morning I was craving grapefruit and the left over salad in the fridge, that was breakfast. And it was delicious! Its great to see that I really have transitioned into the veggie and raw life though. A reminder that I am making the right changes and feeding my body the right things so the cancer can't come back. I think I might head to the Farmer's Market on the weekend if its open this time of year. Wish I was feeling good enough to venture outside today but I'm not...I'm sick of feeling lousy! I cannot explain how excited I am to feel good every single day again.

Temporarily falling off the wagon

I ate raw and vegetarian the entire week (love it by the way and I'm proud of myself) but tonight is pizza and 'chicken kickers' night! I'm straying from my healthy path for but one night of glorious bread, sauce and meat! My heartburn is already at an all time high, I KNOW I'm going to pay for this and likely be sleeping sitting up all night, and yet I can't fight the temptation. I'm weak but...I'm totally OK with that!

Lightening up

I've been obsessing about lightening up my blog site...The black contrast was uber cool but not how I'm feeling on the inside. I feel light and want my life to be light. Feels good to brighten up the place, phew! A relief actually. Thoughts of the road kept my mind off of feeling overly nauseous all morning while laying bed...I basically drove myself all around New Mexico to my favorite places. I've also started to plan what to pack again, a good sign...that means its not that far away now. And since I'm on the 'eco' and 'green' kick as of last year (I even had a green built home all lined up to rent in NM) I'm now planning to scout out eco bedding and other earth friendly home products to take with me...it might be easy to find in Santa Fe, but where I'm going, I think it's better to come prepared with it! My sista in suburbia would be proud.

Middle of the road

Another round of chemo done (as of yesterday) and two more to go. It's a long and different road than I'm used to being on and one I don't prefer. The count DOWN is on now though and I like to think I'm almost through the worst. I do feel good today which is unexpected. And I'm not complaining. I keep going with the love and support of friends and family, and keep my sights on what's ahead...the incredible life ahead. I am grateful but anxious to really get my life started again. I have such a new appreciation and zest for life and a new insight. And it really is amazing to be a part of the love that comes in times of need, people are amazing and I have never felt so much love or such strength from it. It is more powerful than any medicine. I'm getting too sappy. I'm looking forward to a visit with a soul mate and friend this afternoon, and a milkshake. Nectar of the gods these days! Guess there are some perks to chemo? I can get away with straying from my new vegetarian, raw diet! That's all for now...

A Brand New Year

Hallelujah! It's 2009. Yessssss! While most people were getting ready to raise their champagne glasses minutes before midnight last night, I was washing my wig in the bathroom sink. Not the wild girl I used to be hey? Well, not last night anyway. In the spirit of things, I did have the channel set to 'Dick Clark's New Years Special', the gold standard in my opinion, but I missed the big ball drop. Couldn't manage to stay up until 1:00 a.m. since Dick Clark was on New York time and an hour later.

A brand new day. A brand new year. I feel big things coming my way, good things. This is the year I will finally make it back to New Mexico, keep up with the vegetarian and health goals, focus on running, and hopefully the gods are in my corner in terms of baby or babies. A million more things to see and do but those are the key ingredients for 2009. Big shift...BIG shift, and I am ready. Bring it on!